I remember once being told by my brother that I seem to just live life how I want regardless of what anybody else thinks.  He said this as a compliment.  He admired that aspect of my personality.  The funny thing is that I never felt like I was going against the flow, making weird choices, or being out of the ordinary.  It has always been a part of who I am just to do what I felt God had for me at the time.  I care very deeply what others think, just not in the way to live my life to impress them.  It is my life I’m living and I choose to have it lead by God and not the normal human expectations of what to do at each life stage.

I was born as a normal baby, well, with a head full of hair that David says looked like a hippie.

As a small child, I grew up fairly normal.  Well, as normally as I could with 3 older brothers.  (Pictured with my great grandmother)

I had the measles, chicken pox, and mono throughout my childhood, but was usually fairly healthy.  I do remember once lying about being sick the night before leaving on a camping trip.  I remember my brother – I think it was Jason (far right, red hair)- who snuck me some pepto after everyone was in bed.  When we were getting ready to go, my mom called everyone in to ask who had been sick and left the bathroom with throw-up on the toilet rim.  We all knew, but took the 5th…  What can I say?  We wanted to go camping!

I went to school, made good grades, played the flute, danced on the drill team, etc.  So, I experienced what I wanted to experience.  I suppose homeschooling was the first “road less taken” for me.  Then, falling in love with David, getting engaged, and graduating high school at 16y/o.

Yes, when I turned 16, I got engaged to David.  We loved each other deeply and prayed that God would show us if we were right for one another.  We approached our parents.  My parents were, well, let’s just say less than happy to think of letting their daughter get married at 16!  But, I told my mom to pray about it.  I knew if it was meant to be that God would work on her heart.

After a few weeks and several parent dinners between my parents and the Johnsons, they agreed with a few stipulations.  I’m not sure exactly what all of the requirements were, but I know at least the most important ones.  We had to agree to wait until I had finished my high school credits (David was already in college) to get married, to not have children prior to finishing college, and to live with David’s parents until we could afford to move out on our own.  Our parents had spelled out the details on a list and asked us to sign.  We looked around for a writing instrument to find only a crayon which we were happy to use to sign our names to the document.

Poor David.  I have one cousin who is older than me and a boy.  Between him and my 3 older brothers, David was warned within an inch of his life that he had better not hurt me in any way!  Nevertheless, God had changed my parent’s hearts, and I agreed to marry David.  On that rainy day at the lake overlook, I accepted an engagement ring in response to our marriage agreement.  Looking back, I can’t believe what a glorious blessing this was!  God is awesome and mighty!

Courtship – the wooing of one person by another

Date – a social appointment, engagement, or occasion arranged beforehand with another person

Friend – a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard

Love – a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person

(definitions are from dictionary.com)

As I dug deeper into my new homeschooling lifestyle, I did get to know David and Kirk more as they were the only other homeschoolers I knew.  I was still determined that boys were no good and I wasn’t going to fall in love with either of them!

David was quiet, serious, and responsible, but he was a leader within his youth group at church.  He would organize 3-way calling groups where several youth would connect and basically have an antiquated type of conference call in the mornings prior to school.  Primarily, this was a daily prayer group.  However, as each of the others had to go to school, they would disconnect from the call.  This eventually left David & I on the phone because our school was our home.  Not long after that, we were attending the homeschool skate days together at the local skating rink and spending hours talking to one another on the phone.  Soon, our time together became a good friendship.

David was a year older than I was and was homeschooled since 6th grade.  At 16y/o (about 1 – 1 1/2 years after we met), David graduated with completion of highschool credits and started attending the local junior college.  It was around that time that we had that conversation that plays in my head still to this day.  “Do you think we are more than just friends?”…  “I don’t know, do you?”…  “Well, I like you a lot.”…

At the time, we were both in a church that was extremely conservative on the dating scene.  It was not uncommon to get a lecture from the elders just for being in a group of youth that had even numbers of girls and boys.  They certainly didn’t allow ANY touching, including just handing something to each other, and certainly not spending ANY time alone.  They did not want the youth to date or have a courtship in any sense of the modern terms.

So, that was that…  we were rebels!  We were in love!  I don’t agree with that particular church’s stance on dating, but I do think that youth need to be cautious to protect their hearts and innocence more these days.  Nevertheless, my family had gone to that church and started homeschooling which led to meeting the Johnsons, which led to me falling in love with David.  Coincidence?  I think not!  I believe it was all in one Master Plan from above.  David was meant to be in my life forever and we would have never met otherwise.  God is in control!

I struggle with what to share on this blog and what is just babbling on about nothing in particular.  I suppose that same line of thought is what has kept many of you from hearing these stories before!  Then I wonder…  am I thinking these things in my head and just believing others can hear my thoughts?  I really didn’t think that the experiences and thoughts I’ve shared thus far were anything new!

What I have for today might come off a bit strange to some of you, but it is an experience in my life that has shaped  who I have become as a Christian.  You see, although I was a moral child who followed the rules fairly well, I was also a not so perfect sinner just like everyone else.

I grew up with 3 older brothers and I was a tomboy at heart, but dressed in frills.  The brother closest to my age (Jeremy) was my best friend and worst enemy growing up.  I remember on this one occasion when I was around 12 or 13, we had a really big argument that stemmed from my own selfishness.  At the point of screaming at one another, my mother became upset at the fact that her children wouldn’t get along.  I don’t remember all of the details, but I know that I ran to my room, slammed the door, and fell facedown into my bed in tears.

In my sobs, I cried out to Jesus.  I felt like everything was my fault and nothing would ever be right again.  I don’t even remember what the argument was about, but I do remember that my heart was truly broken over it.  All of a sudden, from somewhere within me, a voice uttered a couple of words.  They were very audible to me, but I don’t think if anyone else was in the room they could have heard.  I’m not sure if I will be able to type even a glimpse of everything those couple of words meant to me.  I know they weren’t English words, yet I immediately and fully understood them to the deepest parts of my soul.  Within less than a split second, my physical body surrendered my tears and was filled with an overwhelming peace, happiness, and reverence of just how small I really am.  I had never before, or ever since, experienced this voice in that same way.  There have been multiple times where I beg for Him to speak to me once more in that way, but for some reason, I needed it that day, but not every time I’m down.

What were the words?  Well, I’m not completely sure.  I know they meant for me to be quiet, stop crying, and that I was and would be forgiven.  I have searched the scriptures to find anything similar and what I found was Mark 4:39.  This is where the disciples were in a boat with Jesus who was sleeping when a storm arose and threatened to sink the vessel.  The disciples woke Jesus up and He rebuked the wind and said to the sea πεφίμωσο (pephimōso)- Hush, Be still, Peace, Silence, to muzzle.  The funny thing is that even the greek word seems weak for the depth of what this meant to me.  Are all of the words in the Bible as meaningful and strong as those couple of words uttered into my heart that day?  I marvel at the very thought of this all the time.  God was rebuking me and the waves of my emotions immediately submitted to His authority.  Yet, instead of the usual guilt and shame one feels at being admonished, I was filled with awe of my creator, peace towards my brother, and a happiness that makes me long for my eternity in His presence.

I share all of this with you in hopes that you won’t just think…  well, she’s crazy!  But, that you will revere Our Creator and be encouraged that He is watching over us and is in control!  My God is Sovereign, Mighty, and Lord of Lords.  My God is more than my weak English words could ever express.  May you experience Him in a way that will forever change the way you view your Christianity!

I loved the idea of homeschooling.  I loved the thought that I wasn’t just spinning my wheels in school and playing the popularity game.  I wanted to get out of high school and get into college where I would be working directly towards my future career.  But, it was more than just a desire, it was my destiny.

When I met David & Kirk Johnson, my dad bet that I would want to date Kirk (a year younger than me) and my mom bet that I would date David (a year older than me).  I firmly said that I wasn’t interested in either one!!!  I didn’t want a boyfriend!  I wanted out of high school and I wanted Jesus!

The first time I met the Johnsons, Kirk came up, shoved this enormously large reptile in my face & said, “Wanta see my Iguana?”  I wasn’t particularly scared, but I didn’t care to see the Iguana – especially not that close.  Kirk was a 13 y/o boy – need I say more?

David was away on a mission trip to Mexico, so I didn’t get to meet him at first.  However, we visited the other Johnsons at their house and were introduced to the ins & outs of homeschooling.

A few weeks later, I was attending a youth meeting / mini-conference and I was supposed to get some homeschooling books from David (Whom I had never met).  I approached him and with a nice open ended statement, I said, “So, I hear you went to Mexico…”  He glanced at me and replied, “Yea, they didn’t have any windows” and walked away.  I stood there stunned thinking, “what just happened?”  I knew at that moment that David was either extremely shy or extremely stuck up…

Nevertheless, I had to get those books from David or I would be in trouble from my parents!  After I worried and fretted over how I was going to get the books, David finally walked up to me said, “Here” and placed a stack full of books in my hands.  Whew!  Mission Accomplished!  Well, the mission of the books anyway…